Goddess By Mistake

Am I the only person on the face of Earth who thought this book was tedious? I was not able to finish it. It flunked the Finish-able Book Test, which means that if I put it down for a couple of days and find no desire to pick it back up, I don't bother wasting my time.
Shannon, a schoolteacher from Oklahoma, gets zapped by magic into the mythical world of Partholan, where she ends up worshipped as a priestess, married to an attractive shapeshifter, and embroiled in a war with the truly nasty and evil Fomorians. I liked the premise. Unfortunately, the cover blurb was more interesting than the actual novel.
First of all, the mythology is sloppy as heck. I tried to get over this, accept that the book is a comedy loosely based on mythology, but it still bugged me that Cast can't keep her folklore straight. Priestesses of Epona are mixed with Greek-style nymphs and centaurs. The result is that the book ends up feeling shallow rather than deep, fluffy rather than rooted in an ancient mythology. I wouldn't have minded if she had made up her own mythology. It was the myth-in-a-blender that gave me a headache.
And speaking of shallow, the heroine seems unable to endure a single page of text without brooding about her weight or her hair. I can understand doing a little bit of this--it makes her seem more real at first. However, you'd think that after a few days in the mythical world, she would have figured out there are bigger concerns than whether her thighs are fat. I've already seen Bridget Jones.
I guess this book isn't bad, per se--it just didn't interest me all that much.

When I first saw this book advertised, I liked the premise of it...it sounded like a hoot. I liked that the author was daring enough to try writing a romance in first person narrative style...what a refreshing change. I liked the idea of centaurs and goddesses and shamans and mythology and magical things. I liked that the heroine of the story was a 35 year old, not some fresh, nubile young debutante. And I liked the front cover art, which was classy, unlike those of most romance books. To my mind these were all good things, and after reading the book I still thought that they were good things.

However, there were a lot of things I didn't like. For instance, the heroine, Shannon. Sometimes she was likeable. But she was always cracking 'jokes' which she thought were absolutely hilarious (and naturally the author ensured that all the other characters always laughed along with her.) Sadly, though, she just wasn't as funny as she ought to have been, and sometimes she wasn't funny at all. In fact, most of her jokes consisted of her either complaining sarcastically about absolutely everything or making lewd double entendres worthy of an episode of 'Are You Being Served?'. And the timing of her 'humour' often stunned me. For instance, if you had just seen your father and a whole castle full of people cut to pieces by evil vampire assassins, or had had to collect dismembered bodies and put them on a funeral pyre, or had seen two thirds of your soldiers slaughtered in battle, or had watched a plague kill women and children, would you be making jokes and laughing within minutes? And not just joking but flirting and making out and drinking, too. Shannon accused her predecessor, Rhiannon, of being a sl*t and a b*tch, but she was just as bad, constantly complaining about everything and checking out every man or centaur who came near her. What a hypocrite! Shannon was an alcoholic who cussed constantly (I don't mind cussing and drinking but not ALL the time!) and who worried far more about what she was going to eat or wear or what jewellery she would put on than about the pain or annihilation of the people of her new world. After a battle, she was more worried about whether her breath or clothes smelled than whether her friends had survived. She was shallow, self-centred and annoying, and yet all the other characters were written as adoring her and constantly telling her so. She also went around saying "Oh God" all the time, and didn't ever stop to worry that this might be inappropriate given that she lived in the temple of a Goddess. She apparently didn't care whose religion she offended. Also, she was supposed to be an English teacher, yet she constantly massacred the English language. How can a character who sounds like they never passed a primary school English class possibly be plausible as an English teacher? But worst of all, she was obsessed with John Wayne, and talked about him constantly. I simply cannot empathise with anyone who has such abysmal taste in men! Ugh!

I also hated a lot of other things. Like the modern lingo used in this supposedly ancient setting. And I couldn't understand why, when Shannon was transported to a strange mirror universe and told to pretend to be someone else, she didn't protest or try to get information about her new world or ask what would happen to her or try to get out of her sudden marriage to a centaur. That just didn't make sense. Her only concern seemed to be that they keep giving her wine (like I said, she's an alcoholic.) Shannon didn't bat an eyelid when it was mentioned that she would have to perform sacrifices, and no mention was ever made of this again. Personally, in her place, I would have said something! Another thing I disliked, and maybe I'm just being super PC here, was that the evil enemy armies that invaded Shannon's kingdom were described as coming from 'the far east'. This just seemed to me like the author was having a bit of a racist dig at the far eastern peoples of our own world. Also, the author seemed to have a hangup about beauty. Naturally, all of the bad guys were really ugly, and all of the good guys were super gorgeous...it was SO Disney! And the value of any character's life in the book seemed to be based on their personal attractiveness. In fact, at one point Shannon said to herself about another character 'I didn't want to think about what would happen to her if the creatures caught her. Except for the unnaturally bright flush of her skin, she was still breathtakingly beautiful.' Shannon seemed sadder when someone particularly attractive got hurt, as if beautiful people were worth more. Also, this book had a lot of repitition. Shannon's jokes were always reiterated over and over, ad nauseum. And I lost count of the number of times ClanFintan 'brushed an errant curl back from her face', but it must have been mentioned over a dozen times. What an overused romance book cliche!

I must admit, I was actually a little confused about what the author was trying to achieve when she wrote this book. It appeared that she was trying to write a light-hearted, breezy, funny, flirty romance book. But if that was the case then why did she throw in so many dark, depressing, serious topics, including an evil army of vampires, war, torture, mass murder, mutilation, kidnap, rape, slavery, ritual sacrifice, inter-special breeding, genocide, and plague? Those aren't subjects that you can treat in a light, breezy, funny way, and that is the main reason why this book didn't work for me. Note to author: a light-hearted, funny book doesn't usually include the brutal slaying and mutilation of three quarters or more of its entire cast!

But not all the blame for the book's failings can fall upon its innapropriate heroine or plot twists. There was also a failure by the publisher to correct legions of spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. For instance, using the word broach instead of brooch, or these quotes: 'sneak a peak at him', 'I've never really have an inhibition problem' or 'It was just too dang hard to ignore a goddess when she was inside your brain and tapped your guilt button'. There were hundreds more mistakes like these, but I won't bore you with them. Apparently since this book was first published the author has done a rewrite of it under a different title (read her blog for details if you give a damn) in which she is supposed to have tidied up these sorts of errors. But I'm willing to bet that she still hasn't fixed the things I had the biggest problems with, such as the huge credibility gaps and Shannon's sarcastic shallowness.

I wouldn't say this is a bad book, and I definitely wouldn't say it's the worst one I've read. It had its merits and was quite amusing at times. But I wouldn't exactly recommend it, and I WON'T be reading any more books by the same author.

I read GODDESS BY MISTAKE while on vacation in the green mountains of Vermont and couldn't have asked for a better setting. I kept looking up from the book to see if ClanFintan was galloping over the rise!
Ms. Cast's first novel is a refreshing new addition to the fantasy genre. Her characters are well written, her dialogue witty, and her story is filled with romance, adventure and fun. If you are a fan of Greek mythology and Celtic lore, then this fantasy romance is for you. English teacher turned goddess marries centaur in a land of magic and vampires!
I would disagree with a previous reviewer in their labeling of this book as an R-rated romance. Definitely PG with enough innuendo and good sense to let the reader's mind take it from there. A very nice change from the usual, overly descriptive boddice rippers that currently pack the bookstore shelves.
I'm very much looking forward to her next book, GODDESS OF THE SEA. October 2003 can't come fast enough!

...I can only say buy it, have your funnybones well-oiled, set back and ENJOY!!!!
This is a book that might easly fall through the cracks for I don't think they have invented the perfect catagory for it. PLEASE don't let the stop you. This is one of the Best books I have ever read.
Shannon Parker, 35 year old School teacher from Oklahoma buys an ancient Celtic death vase, and suddenly her life is not the same - actually, is NOT her life. She awakens in a strange fantasy life where ancient Celtic mythology is very much real. Rhinnanon the High Priest of the Goddess Epona, has traded places with Shannon. And this presents her with all sorts of problems. Like having to fill the shoes of someone no so nice, like finding her people under the threat of the vampire race of Formorians - and most perplexing, she is wed to a cenatur!!!!
Okay, all that is fine and thrilling premise, but is it Shannon's first person overview of all that is happening to her that makes this more than fantasy, more than romance. It is down right, belly-laughing funny the WHOLE Way!!!
I will not spoil the rest of the story, for it is there for you to thoroughly enjoy.
PC Cast...you are brilliant!!!!!!
WISE WRITERS AND READERS Book of the Month for April 2002

Shannon Parker, a high school English teacher, experiences what can mildly be called a 'jolt' when she is thrown into a different world. Her mirror image in this new world, Rhiannon, the High Priestess of the goddess Epona, had observed Shannon in her world and sought to take her place. Both got more than they bargained for.
While in this new world, Shannon finds out that Lady Rhiannon was spoiled, self indulgent, rude and willful: not a well liked woman at all. And she finds herself wedding a centaur, who obviously dislikes Rhiannon. But by being herself, Shannon wins over all those around her.
Sometime between falling in love, blessing the masses, and nursing victims sick with the plague, Shannon sees in her dreams a horrifying band of creatures murdering whole castles full of people, and mating with the women. Soon, Shannon's task becomes clear: she must stop these living, breathing atrocities.
Though the book has a minimum of actual mythology, the characters and storyline should keep any fantasy fan hooked. The way Cast wrote the centaurs was intriguing, and the characters are true to life and wonderful. While the ending sort of tapers off, as if the author became tired of plotting out every little thing, overall, the book was wonderful and monstrously entertaining.

I really enjoyed the first half of GODDESS BY MISTAKE by P.C. Cast, thinking it an intriguing idea and refreshingly original; unfortunately, this fantasy-romance novel lost its tension (and, sadly, my interest) in the second half of the book, making it something of an effort to finish.

First, the good: GODDESS BY MISTAKE is the first-person narration of Oklahoma school teacher Shannon Parker, who is sent into an alternate world in which everyone believes she is Rhiannon, goddess incarnate and follower of Epona, a Celtic goddess of war and horses. To complicate matters further, Shannon/Rhiannon is immediately married to ClanFintan, a centaur shaman with the ability to shape-shift. I LOVED this idea. It was fascinating to see Shannon/Rhiannon adjust to her role as goddess incarnate and deal with the fact that she's expected to mate with a man who is half horse. The author writes with a funny sense of humor, and I was giggling wildly at the thought of wondering how Shannon/Rhiannon was going to deal with it all.

Now, the bad: What interested me upfront about the relationship between Shannon/Rhiannon and the centaur was the fact that there was heavy tension between them. A good romance novel feeds off of that tension until the very end. Which makes me wonder if GODDESS was supposed to be a romance novel because, unfortunately, the two lovers fell in love immediately, killing all the tension by the middle of the book (their major love scene was also pretty tame). From that point on, the centaur is left with nothing else to do in the story but give his wife massages and fight the bad guys (everybody else is fighting the bad guys, too, so this is nothing special).

Speaking of the bad guys, the book is mostly about the good guys battling the bad guys (demon-vampire creatures), making it feel like it is more fantasy than romance. I wasn't interested in that. Sigh.

Anyway, this is the second P.C. Cast book I've read, the other being GODDESS OF THE SEA. I noticed that in both books, the hero is pretty much a secondary character, and his undying love is given upfront and guaranteed. All the so-called tension is supposed to come from "bad" characters. If you don't mind this, then I am sure you will enjoy GODDESS BY MISTAKE, for it is an interesting and creative fantasy. But if you are like me and are looking for a delicious, page-turning ROMANCE with steamy love scenes, then I don't think this book is for you.

P.C. Cast's novel, GODDESS BY MISTAKE, is an absolute delight. Its characters are rich and enchanting, and its plot is compelling. I simply couldn't put the book down, and I'm not normally a fantasy reader. So P.C.'s book reaches beyond genre, and is simply a splendid novel. It gives us grief, passion, laughter, all on a grand scale. That's why I'm convinced P.C. has done the next-to-impossible; she's given us a contemporary mythology that empowers women and the men who love them.

After reading this book, Elphame's choice made a lot more sense. The book itself wasn't bad, but not quite what I'd expect. It's more of a fantasy novel than a romance novel, and Elphame's Choice, which is touted by my local bookstore as a fantasy novel, is more romantic.

One thing I disliked about this book is the way it's told. First person is great, but in this one I didn't think it worked. I also didn't like all the modern references, especially to pop culture. Sure, Shannon's retelling of the Highwayman is great, but I didn't really need to be reminded of the haunting voice of Loreena Mckennitt while I heard her tell stories. I also had problems with the idea that Shannon was always bathing, getting dressed, or drinking wine.

I also think that ClanFintan accepted her way too quickly. Suddenly she admits she's not Rhiannon, and bang, he accepts her and takes her to bed. I just don't buy it, sorry. I also wonder how this ties into Elphame's Choice, you'd honestly think that Lochlan's mother would be mentioned, as kin to Rhiannon, and that it might have been passed down through family lore that Rhiannon was a woman from another dimension.

For a first novel, it's not bad. I think Cast could have done a lot more with the Vase transporting through time, or done away wit hall together after Shannon came through. After all, if this is a one way trip, why'd the vase come back? I'm glad I read this after I read most of her other books, because I was disappointed, and probably wouldn't have picked up her other books if this is what I'd read first.

I've read this book countless times and have not gotten sick of it yet, nor do I plan to.

Shanon Parker, the main heroine, buys a an old vase because the goddess depicted on it looks like her

as a matter of fact the goddess is her mirror image

on her way home from the auction where the pot/vase thing was purchased a force is flung through the car from the pot

Shannon winds up in Partholon, engaged to a centaur and on the verge of fighting a battle against a seriously evil race of vampiric beings

this book is full of wit and humour and the perfect read for anyoe who needs a good laugh.

Perfect blend of Fantasy and Romantic Adventure.
This book simply cannot be topped. To say that I enjoyed this book would be a VAST understatement. The wit and writing style are fantastic. Shannon's self-depreciating sense of humor is hilarious. I laughed and sighed and genuinely hated to see the last page. Shannon reminded me of a cross between Anita Blake (in the very beginning of the series) and Stephanie Plum - funny and willing to get the job done.
Shannon Parker is a 35-year-old high school English teacher. She is smart and sassy and fun to read about. She winds up in a twisted dimension and finds herself in the middle of a battle of good and evil with some very familiar characters from her "past" life. In this new life, she finds love, friendship and plenty of adventure.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book.