Yoda: The Story of a Cat and His Kittens

In our house there was a slow build of anticipation for the release of this new book. My wife brought it home during lunch and I knew it was my purpose to read it to the kids right after I finished my beautiful soup.

However, after reading it, we were disappointed with the content. The kids thought there was too much of Yoda's "mom" (also would have liked a picture of just Yoda on the back cover without the author and her husband) and the story of Yoda being saved by caring for foster kittens is over the top even for a kids' book - it is as farcical as if someone claimed to be a European model but could not produce any photographic evidence of his or her work.

I didn't realize that the author had a partner who helped write the book and I hope contributor K.A. Alistir gets due credit for the effort. Also, I always knew that illustrator Devin Crane was gifted, but I never did realize just how much until I saw his work in this book.

That said, the fact of the matter is that I have to advise folks to save their marbles and buy another children's book. If the goal is to help animals, one could always contribute directly to a highly-rated animal charity without purchasing this book. Since we've already read it and the kids weren't big fans, I plan on donating the book to the local library so it will be around in case other people want to read it.

This is yet another scam by the author to get average people to fund her vanity projects. Look up North Shore Animal League on Charity Navigator and discover that only 60% of the money donated to them goes to animal services, the rest goes to bloated salaries for their administration and lavish parties for their wealthy donors. This book is just the latest in a long line of holiday projects designed to get the unsuspecting to part with their cash, replacing last years failed calendar featuring the aging author in horribly photoshopped pictures taken by her soulless husband. This book is even worse, they exploited this allegedly ill animal and used it as a prop to once again attempt to dupe people into supporting a project that the author's husband could fund with a weeks pay. If you love animals avoid this contrived, phony book and support a responsible local shelter.

My daughter hated this book so much. She is 8 years old. Boring and overpriced.

This is a "book" that should never have been published. The notion that a 45 year old woman (whose husband actually admits he wears condoms to keep her from having a baby) should write a children's book is as absurd as obese, cancer-ridden Robin Quivers writing an "eat healthy" book.

Some background on the "author": Beth Stern dropped out of college and became, in Howard Stern's words, "a top European model." Evidently in Europe, "top models" aren't permitted to have their pictures taken since published pictures of Beth "modoeing" in Europe appear not to exist. Beth then left "Europe" and moved to NYC where, in the words of Sandra Bernhard, she was best known as a "party girl."

After meeting and marrying Howard Stern (aka Wigboy) Beth decided to "modoe" her "career" after Deirdre Imus and align herself with a charity, in this case the 2 star rated North Shore Animal League, all the while maintaining, according to Wigboy, a professed desire to "not want to be famous." (Tens of thousands of selfies posted on Instagram and Twitter suggest otherwise.) Wigboy (aka Wiggy) and Beth have spent the last few years efforting to get the Public to accept Beth as some kind of celebrity. Countless failed television projects are testimony to the Public's good taste.

Which brings us to Beth's latest vanity project, "Yoda: The Story of a Cat and His Kittens". As the "story" was originally told by Wiggy (aka Wigster), Yoda was diagnosed with a heart condition, barely able to move around the bowling alley in Wigster and Beth's palatial estate in the Hamptons, a stunning tribute to what the Nouveau Riche aspire to own, charmingly named "Chimney Manor." Either Yoda was misdiagnosed or the self-admitted "compulsive liar" Wigster (aka Wigmeister) was once again lying, but it turns out that Yoda has no health issues after all, he is just old, fat and lazy, like the aforementioned Robin Quivers.

With the Holiday Season fast approaching and the realization that the Public had no interest in yet another calendar featuring Beth Stern salaciously licking one side of an ice cream cone while a dog licks the other side, Wigmeister and Beth came up with this "book" to try and get the Public to finally accept Beth. Simon and Schuster took the bait which allowed the infantile Beth (to paraphrase Noman Mailer on JD Salinger, Beth Stern may be "the greatest mind ever to stay in [elementary] school”) to indulge in an eight year old's flight into anthropomorphic whimsy.

Simon and Schuster should be ridiculed for publishing what is in essense the literary equivalent of a "selfie." The only saving grace regarding the release of this book is to track how quickly it enters its rightful spot in the "Books Under A Buck" club, joining the published, never-sold literary efforts of Howard Stern associates Robin Quivers and Lisa G. In closing, Amazon's rating system forces me to be generous in giving Beth Stern's latest vanity project a 1 star rating.

This seems like it was written by a blind cat, who is blind. Conceived by a rapidly aging trophy wife, who ironically, cannot conceive. Written by a English major dropout who cannot save a Word document. An Instagram sensation, minus the sensation.

Do yourself a favor – Skip this 32 page guide of epic narcissism and just buy your daughter, "A Gold Digger's Guide: How to get what you want without giving it up" by Baje Fletcher. Your money will go to a worthier cause.

How does an animal activist such an Ms O Stern wear and utilize so much leather? Anyone that is a walking contradiction deserves not one penny from anyone. Donate the money to your local shelter people. This is a tax offset to Stern's sirius/xm contract.

Not to the mention there isn't one lick of truth to this story. This cat was adopted in April yet this entire book was written, illustrated, printed along with a fully devised marketing campaign, book tour, and TV show appearance line up all done AFTER they discovered the healing properties of kittens? PLEASE.

Yoda was bought and brought home as a prop for a story thought up long before April. The idea was sold and Yoda came into their lives when needed. Beth has always been jealous of Sherri Zombie's white Persian. Lets say the story was true.

NSALoA needs to be shut down according to Howard's own words; They brought Yoda home after he was at NSALoA for 2 months. Yoda was skin and bones with matted fur covered in feces Howard said just today on his radio show. Do you really want to help support an organisation that allowed a terminally ill cat to survive that way for two months?

As an animal lover and a publishing professional who has worked in the business for 30+ years, it amazes me that yet another vanity project has been greenlighted, when real authors who slave at their art for years can't get a break. I guess it really is all about the marbles. It isn't about the children or the animals, that's for sure.

This so-called true story is about as real a tale as anything written by the Brothers Grimm. This is not about a purebred kitten but about the "model" who rescued him. It's about half-truths, and medical "miracles" and "the nice lady".

This is about making money for a vanity project that will never see the light of day.

If you want to see what this book is really about, just look at the back cover. 'Nuff said. It's yet another narcissistic piece of fluff that is masked as "charity."

I have to stop here. The quotation marks key on my keyboard just exploded.

Oh, the Devin Crane illustrations are very nice, though.

Insipid, juvenile, inane droll from a woman who has way too much time on her hands. This is what happens when a incredibly wealthy huckster doesn't want to donate to this wife's cause.

For other moms out there who aren't sure if this book is appropriate for the young ones, here's a synopsis:
The wicked witch 'Araba Amour' from the kingdom of Hamptonia flies on her golden broomstick every night snatching kittens from unsuspecting children. She then whisks them back to Mo-marbles castle where along with the evil Dr. Wigenstein she torments the poor creatures by locking them in cells made from empty 'box-o-wines' and forcing them to serve as props in an endless succession of demented selfies. Then one night while the witch and Dr. Wigenstein are once again distracted by the hundreds of self-portraits hanging from the castle walls, brave Yoda gathers up the kittens and makes his escape from the house of horrors. Run free brave Yoda.... run free !!!!
Also, I might add that if the story itself doesn't frighten the children, the back cover would scare the sh*t out of any living thing.
P.S. In lieu purchasing the book to help Beth's cause, ransom payments to get your cat back can be sent directly to the author.
You've been warned.......

I am so tired of these wives of celebrities who have no apparent talent whatsoever using their husband's name to try to get famous. Using charity work to try to be famous may help people/animals, but it doesn't mean that the motives aren't selfish. Beth didn't write this book. KA Alistir did. Beth just slapped her name on the cover and is using it to get her face out there.

Howard and Beth are using this charity work to make Beth famous. Yes, the money is going to Bianca's Furry friends, but Howard could have funded building the animal shelter with the money he finds in between his sofa cushions. But this is a last ditch effort to make Beth famous after failed modeling, acting, and reality TV careers failed to do it.