When Sophie Gets Angry - Really, Really Angry…

I'm a school social worker and regularly speak with children about anger. I was searching for a book that would show that anger is okay, but that would also show what some positive (& safe!) choices a child can make when they're angry. This book most certainly does NOT meet this criteria.

The first 12 pages or so are good enough... with captivating illustrations depicted a very angry (tantruming exponentially, actually) young Sophie (about 5 y.o.?) who is upset that her (older) sister grabbed her toy gorilla. The illustrations show the sheer force & power of her anger. Then the book takes a disastrous turn.

Sophie RUNS away (& runs & runs & runs) through a forest & then CLIMBS WAY UP INTO A TREE! After calming down, she decides to return home. There are NO apparent consequences for the tantrum OR for running away... In fact, it just shows the family hugging her & then working on a puzzle together as if nothing had happened.

NOT a message I would like to send to children. At its worst, it could potentially reinforce the idea of tantruming over something small & easily solveable, of running away & doing dangerous things like climbing trees... without any adult supervision. And, no matter what negative things you do -- apparently, in Sophie's world -- you can get away with it. What an unfortunate message.

I bought this book for my 3 1/2 year old daughter thinking that it would help her with mechanisms to cope with her anger. I think this book is horrible!! The sister takes something from Sophie without asking and the mom tells Sophie that it's her sister's turn instead of telling the sister to ask for it. And THEN Sophie leaves the house ALONE and goes off into the woods without her family knowing where she went. She climbs a tall tree by the water and eventually calms down and comes home where everyone is just sitting around like it's no big deal that she left alone and everyone is just happy to see her and now she's not angry anymore.

I read this book to my daughter trying to make parallels to what WOULD be appropriate (such as LOOKING out the window at the trees and the birds or running around in her room) and have tried to convey that Sophie is ALOT older than her and that she should NEVER leave the house alone or not let someone know where she is in the house. She instead says but if I go to the park alone that would be ok. And when I told her she might get hurt crossing the street as one of the many reasons that would not be ok, she said, well if I look both ways i would be safe. She is three and has an answer for everything, and she sees Sophie in a book doing it and thinks it must be ok.

It is exhausting to read this book and basically have to give examples on every page of alternate things it IS ok to do (like Sophie's sister should have asked her sister for a turn, or asking her mother to TAKE her for a walk) - this book is teaching a very dangerous lesson to young children to do things that would be extremely dangerous for the targeted age group to do. It's telling my daughter to leave the house and run around alone until she calms down, something that if she did could get her hurt, kidnapped or worse. I think this book should be taken off the market. Awful, awful lesson!!!

"Let fury have the hour, anger can be a power. D'you know that you can use it?"

-The Clash

Some people who got angry- really, really angry...and impacted our world:
-slaves
-peasants
-native Americans
-liberal Frenchmen
-organizers of ghetto uprisings
-Crystal Lee Sutton
-East Berliners
-Sophie

O.K., first off, what is the big problem with the illustrations? I enjoy viewing realistic art here and there, but why does everything have to be a Norman Rockwell pic? I think the bold colors bring attention to the emotions, it's folksy, the symbolism rocks, and that the rendering of Sophie's tree is sacred. How can you not like the pic of Sophie's arm hugging the tree while she watches the ocean? Am I on planet earth or what?

Love the teachers, school counselors, social workers, student teachers, and foster parents who have to toot their darn horns by tossin' around their profession titles in order to get attention. Well, hey, ladies and gentlemen, did you know that I am a professional procurer of children's books, not to mention a semi-professional mom? And guess what? I'm gonna whip out my anger management tips, too. Let us all be psychologists, shall we?

Are you gonna tell me that your kid has never had a freak-out session? Or that you haven't? If you have answered "yes" to this question, then you and/or your child must be a cyborg. Bet you didn't know that this book was inspired by Molly Bang's own child. Gasp! Can you believe it- her child got angry! Kidding aside, anger is a natural emotion with body language, audible expression, and psychology-driven acts that help you cope. How come it's O.K. for us to get crazy and scream when a football team wins? Or cry like a banshee at a revival of "Love Story"? And dudes, we are talkin' about a kid here (not to mention a fictional one that everybody seems miffed at)...one that is just learning to deal with a gamut of emotions. (And she does not look fiveish to me...I say sevenish, but that is just my bigmouth opinion.) Kids having Queen Elizabeth control over their emotions is just not realistic. I'd rather have my daughter express her anger than repress it and become a cutter or self-medicate herself later on down the line.

The whole "I am afraid that my son/daughter is going to run, run, run, and climb a tree in the deep forest!" deal is so bizarre to me! Can't kids run and climb trees anymore? I know I did...and I can see why a tree is Sophie's anger management coach. You are definitely not earthbound in a tree; literally and figuratively, your outlook changes- you feel free as a bird. Where is Huck Finn when you need him? Why is that so detrimental when one is angry? People, it is just a story! I feel ridiculous typing this, but if look at the pic of Sophie headin' home, her house is in the two-page frame along with the tree. It's not like she was in Timbuktu. If your kid is going to take the book that literally and run out into city traffic or the suburbs with skaterats, climb a redwood or skyscraper, or primal scream 24-7, then something is wrong. My three-year-old doesn't want to pig out, then eat a leaf, and make a cozy bed after reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". I do know that my tot is not ready for this book. It will just go over her head. It is perfect for five and up...my older daughter gets this book and she enjoys it. I do not utilize the book as a self-help solution- to us, it is just a simple story of strong emotions in everyday life. Anyway, one reviewer mentioned that Sophie should have had "consequences" after her tantrum. Listen, it's not like she had the tantrum in the middle of Target (not that that is punishable either, just embarrassing), or on top of someone's torso. Where is the crime here? Sophie got really mad, had hurt feelings and probably hurt knees from falling over the truck, she yelled, ran, climbed a tree, finds peace in the ocean, forest, animal sounds, and wind; then she cries, and in the process, she calmed herself. I repeat: she calmed herself...which is the type of behavior that negative reviewers of this book were/are screaming for, so there you go- ya got it in the end anyway, so quit fussin'. Her parents have nothing to say about her anger at the end of the book because they know that Sophie is only human, and not a Buddhist monk. If you are (still) angry about this book or at me, go climb a tree- it will help.

This review is dedicated to Sophie's detractors (please see previous one-star and two-star reviews).

I was shocked after receiving this to see that when Sophie is angry she copes with her anger by running and running and running until she feels better. The pictures show her running alone into what looks like a forest. Then she goes by a big lake and sits in a big tree, again all alone. When she finally feels better she walks home. It appears that she's gone far away on her journey. She is a young girl and certainly this is not what you want your child to do. I wish they'd said she goes in the back yard and runs or that she goes in her room and takes herself away through visualization to these places.

This is NOT a good book to teach kids how to handle anger. It is NOT a good idea to TEACH KIDS TO RUN AWAY from their anger and situation. This is not based on good psychology.

Small children are very literal, and they are not going to get any other message from this book other than to run away. This book was not well researched, and I cannot believe it won any awards, much less a Caldecott.

As a physician and a mother, I must give this 2 thumbs down.

I used to read this story book to my daughter. She found it interesting and entertaining. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but some of the negative reviews of this children's story book are based on the idea that it is supposed to be some sort of "lesson plan" for a children's anger management program. I don't recall seeing anywhere in this short book that it is intended to be part of a "teaching curriculum" or "academic guidance tool".

Fictional stories are meant to entertain. If they encourage discussion between children and their parents, guardians or teachers, that's fine. The book did not end with the sentence, "In conclusion, clinicians and psychotherapists agree that the appropriate way of dealing with anger is to explode like a volcano and run into the woods". Rather, it told the story of how one girl behaved when she was frustrated. Was it the right way? Probably not. If you wanted, you could you ask your child if they have ever felt this angry and if they thought this was a good way to deal with it. You might be surprised at their answer.

People don't give children enough credit. My daughter is now a teenager and is polite and respectful to other people. Is she perfect? No, (I said she is a teenager!) but when she gets angry, she deals with it appropriately. Not every book has to spell out word for word the way people should behave. Just because we read something, it does not mean that we will assume that behavior. Heck, I read "The Cat in the Hat" when I was young, but I didn't suddenly believe that it was OK to tear the house to shreds, as long put it all back together before my parents could find out.

As for the people who are "alarmed" that a child would climb a tree, oh brother! :)

While I loved the art, I wasn't thrilled with the story line of how to deal with anger since the young child runs away out into nature and lets nature calm her. She returns home to a loving home but I was hoping for a more practical way of teaching a child to deal with the scary angry emotion. The three year old is completely captured with the book, but I'm worried about her putting the story into practice. An older child wouldn't have this problem, I'm sure. Also, track 1 on the CD wouldn't play.

This is one of my absolute favorite books for young children to learn about recognizing and managing their emotions. (That's called Social Emotional Learning in teacher-speak.) This book is an SEL classic!

My husband and I read this book over and over to our son when he was little. Just like Sophie, my son was often "a volcano ready to explode". When he was little, we talked with him about how he often felt like Sophie and got really, really angry. But we also talked about how Sophie learned to calm down, and rejoin her family in a positive way.

when sophie gets angry she runs away and comes back.

that's the book. I would have appreciated more content. I understand that after I finish reading the book I talk to my child about how we behave when we get angry, but this could have given more to work with

great book for children with anger issues.