The Verbally Abusive Man - Can He Change?: A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

This is one of the books we use in our woman's group. There are stories that we all can relate to. Enough information to help you decide what you want for your future and ways to turn it around without fear.

The information was informative just needed something more to keep my attention. Seemed like things were repeated. Didn't give you much hope.

Contrary to what some people say about this book, the author is actually trying to keep relationships together and help struggling people deal with their character defects and problems. You don't need to have a doctorate to identify and study a problem like verbal abuse. Many women endure this type of abuse for decades and most likely stay in their relationships because the abuse is not constant and there are moments of kindness and hope.

If you are a woman who has ever had an argument with a man, you've probably heard at least 50 of the abusive words and phases. I've personally witnessed at least 42 that are in this book and more that I can remember. As someone who was verbally abused by a troll for ten years I can say these words are not harmless and do create fear and anxiety.

What this book seeks to do is make you aware that the abuse is happening. Then it gives you a solution to make it stop. While walking away is a real option for women who can't deal with the abuse any longer, there is hope for change for those who want to stay.

This book promotes writing out an agreement that you and your man sign. But honestly this book gives enough details and ideas that there are other ways of going about assisting the changes. Simply telling a man you are a separate person and have your own thoughts, ideas and opinions can open up the door for change. The idea in this book is that the man expects you to be some sort of dream woman he's created and when you fall short of his ideal picture of you he becomes irritated and upset. You can see how you just can't win in that case! He's arguing with the real woman while wanting to talk to the dream woman.

While dealing with a verbally abusive man is no picnic, I can say I've survived this type of abuse and can say that I am stronger emotionally for it. I also learned finally how to love my enemy as Jesus said to do. When you love someone it takes away a lot of their power over you because you are at a different level of wisdom and compassion.

I highly recommend this book to any woman who has just started to see abuse happening or to anyone who has been with someone who has been abusive for years. Knowledge is power and if you are determined to stay then you need this book.

~The Rebecca Review

I found this book to give me clear and precise information about abusive men and the characteristics that make them who they are.

The Agreement mentioned in this book will help to decipher why a man is abusive and IF he is able to change his abusiveness.

There are men who are abusive and others who may possess certain abusive behaviors. One key point to understand is that the abusive man's reality is completely different from the woman's. Change will be highly likely if the woman is involved by supporting the men in recovery.

It is highly recommended that you read "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans along with this book.

Keisha Allen-Smith
Dance with Danger a story of domestic abuse and survival & One with Him words of a healing woman (Kindle)

This book was written as VERY GOOD condition, but it had yellowed pages and looked very old.
It was a gift and I almost didn't give it...but then did tell her it was a 2nd hand buy.