The Teleportation Accident: A Novel
The Teleportation Accident: A Novel book cover

The Teleportation Accident: A Novel

Hardcover – February 26, 2013

Price
$18.00
Format
Hardcover
Pages
368
Publisher
Bloomsbury USA
Publication Date
ISBN-13
978-1620400227
Dimensions
5.94 x 1.23 x 8.48 inches
Weight
1.22 pounds

Description

From Booklist *Starred Review* Egon Loeser, an avant-garde set designer in Weimar-era Berlin, is obsessed with a girl named Adele Hitler (no relation), who, like most other girls, won’t sleep with him, forcing Egon to spend his evenings with the alluring women portrayed in a pornographic novel called Midnight at the Nursing Academy. Then there is his current project, designing the sets for an Expressionist production of a play about Renaissance set designer Lavicini, whose so-called teleportation device (think “Beam me up, Scotty”) exploded in a crowded Italian theater. Loeser hopes to re-create the teleportation device for a spectacular finale that will gain him the respect he craves from his fellow dissolute artists. Naturally, it all goes bad. Fraulein Hitler hooks up with Egon’s worst enemy, and the teleportation device explodes, well, prematurely, forcing Egon to escape to Paris and from there to California. Tragically, he loses his favorite book en route. Egon can run, but he can’t hide. Adele turns up in California, too, working for a wacky scientist who appears to be experimenting with something very like a teleportation device. There is so much going on in this truly bizarre novel—everything from slapstick to noir to steampunk—that discombobulated readers may feel as though they’ve fallen down a narrative wormhole. But what a wormhole! Beauman, a kind of comic version of Nick Harkaway in Angelmaker (2012), gives us an apolitical German in 1930s Berlin who is indifferent to Nazis but despises Bertolt Brecht and who hasn’t had sex in three years but still pines for a girl named Hitler. It makes no sense, but it’s brilliant. --Bill Ott “Gobsmackingly clever.” ― Vanity Fair “ The Teleportation Accident is a singular novel -- singularly clever, singularly audacious, singularly strange--from a singular, and almost recklessly gifted, young writer.” ― Time.com “Endlessly witty and furiously inventive, Ned Beauman's second novel... consolidates [his] stature as a formidably accomplished writer... Beauman flaunts an almost indecently pleasurable way with words as he piles on outrageous developments... This [is a] dazzling entertainment. It's rare for a book to stimulate the brain cells and the funny bone with equal gusto, but Beauman has a knack for embedding trenchant philosophical blasts in punch lines... You laugh, then you flinch. On the evidence of his first novel, Boxer Beetle, and now this brilliantly clever and covertly humane book, Beauman promises to keep us laughing and flinching for years to come.” ― The Washington Post “Brilliant... If there was ever any worry that [Beauman] might have crammed all his ideas into his first book, the prize-winning Boxer, Beetle , this makes it clear he kept a secret bunker of his best ones aside.” ―Joe Dunthorne, The Guardian “Fiendishly clever... This fizzy novel is a great time machine all its own, jumping between the Renaissance and the future, flirting with noir, sci-fi, and romance, and skewering the ‘same empty people going to the same empty parties' along the way. Every generation gets the hipster satire it deserves. But this one's for every generation. Grade: A” ― Melissa Maerz, Entertainment Weekly “Inspired... Beauman has an unflagging imagination and an indefatigable gift for comedy.” ― Publishers Weekly “Funny and startlingly inventive... Beauman is undoubtedly a writer of prodigious talent, and there are enough ideas [here]... to fill myriad lesser novels.” ― The Financial Times “Brilliantly written... A confounding sci-fi-noir-comedy mashup overstuffed with astute social observations, high-brow literary allusions, stupendous Pynchonian names and prose so odd and marvelous that every few pages I had to stop and reread a passage.” ― Jennifer Reese, NPR.org “There is so much going on in this truly bizarre novel―everything from slapstick to noir to steampunk―that discombobulated readers may feel as though they’ve fallen down a narrative wormhole. But what a wormhole! ... Brilliant.” ― Bill Ott, Booklist (starred review) “The oversized, exuberant, and farcical plot of The Teleportation Accident is more entertaining than any summary can convey... [Beauman] has the knack for populating his tale with absurd secondary characters, spinning seemingly minor details into long-running jokes, and for placing his protagonist into precarious, comically rich scrapes. The result is rewarding; there are no such thing as pointless digressions in The Teleportation Accident , just the rollicking tale of a hapless Loeser following his heart.” ― Daily Beast “As wild a cast of eccentrics and madmen, scammers and venal self-servers, hapless saps and trodden-down dreamers, as you have seen since the heyday of J. P. Donleavy or Evelyn Waugh… Teleporting directly into the ranks of such mythomaniacal jesters as Nick Sagan and Christopher Moore, Ned Beauman kicks any sophomore qualms to the curb.” ― B&N Review “Incredibly intelligent, fantastically distracted... You won't read a more memorable novel about sex, obsession and the sticky stuff of science fiction this year, if ever....Profoundly funny, and on the sentence level, simply exhilarating.” ― Tor.com “Bizarre, original, and satisfying... [Beauman is] a special talent... He takes the sort of risks that writers under 30 should take, but rarely do.” ― BookPage “Beauman has created a wacky mash-up of a hefty number of genres -- historical fiction, noir, slapstick, science fiction and satire -- populated by sinners, ghouls and Caltech physicists and set mainly in the pre-World War II period. And, yes, there is a teleportation device.” ― Star-Telegram (Fort Worth “[A] pyrotechnical... violently clever... highly cerebral… frantically entertaining pasteboard extravaganza… Extraordinary.” ― The Sunday Times “Popping with ideas, fizzing with vitality, and great fun.” ― The Independent on Sunday “Stylistically radical... Virtuosic... An unquestionably brilliant novel, ribald and wise in equal measure... Witty and sometimes deeply moving.” ― Times Literary Supplement “A glorious, over-the-top production, crackling with inventive wit and seething with pitchy humour . . . It's as if the English tradition of humorous novels (PG Wodehouse, Kingsley Amis, Evelyn Waugh) and American comic fiction (Thomas Pynchon, Kurt Vonnegut, John Barth) have had their molecules recombined . . . A beguiling success.” ― The Scotsman “If you care about contemporary fiction, you must read this.” ― Tatler Ned Beauman was born in 1985 and studied philosophy at the University of Cambridge. His first novel, Boxer, Beetle , won a National Jewish Book Award and the Writers’ Guild of Great Britain Award, and was shortlisted for the Desmond Elliott Prize and the Guardian First Book Award. He has recently lived in Berlin, London, Istanbul, and New York. Read more

Features & Highlights

  • When you haven’t had sex in a long time, it feels like the worst thing that could ever happen. If you’re living in Germany in the 1930s, it probably isn’t. But that’s no consolation to Egon Loeser, whose carnal misfortunes will push him from the experimental theaters of Berlin to the absinthe bars of Paris to the physics laboratories of Los Angeles, trying all the while to solve two mysteries: Was it really a deal with Satan that claimed the life of his hero, Renaissance set designer Adriano Lavicini, creator of the so-called Teleportation Device? And why is it that a handsome, clever, modest guy like him can’t—just once in a while—get himself laid? From Ned Beauman, the author of the acclaimed
  • Boxer, Beetle
  • , comes a historical novel that doesn’t know what year it is; a noir novel that turns all the lights on; a romance novel that arrives drunk to dinner; a science fiction novel that can’t remember what
  • isotope
  • means; a stunningly inventive, exceptionally funny, dangerously unsteady and (largely) coherent novel about sex, violence, space, time, and how the best way to deal with history is to ignore it.

Customer Reviews

Rating Breakdown

★★★★★
30%
(107)
★★★★
20%
(71)
★★★
15%
(54)
★★
7%
(25)
28%
(100)

Most Helpful Reviews

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Is this a draft?

A dazzling stylist but no Thomas Pynchon, without whom this book could not have been written. I'm still old fashioned enough to think that making characters endlessly rehash the plot and explain everything is a sign that the puppet master's hands are showing too much, especially when the rehashing doesn't work on meta level either. This felt like a shaggy dog of a first draft badly in need of a good editor. Might make a good movie but doesn't engage from line to line like a great novel ought to. Too clever by half, though amazingly amusing at times. Best described as a "slog".
14 people found this helpful
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"[She] was difficult to impress...a pearlescent kidney stone that California had grown in its own gut."

With descriptions like the above, author Ned Beauman creates one of the wackiest books I have read in ages - maybe ever! - a wide-ranging novel about just about anything that comes into the author's head, told in glorious and inglorious imagery throughout. Though it is set almost entirely between 1931 and 1939 and does trace the idea of teleportation as a motif throughout the novel, it is not science fiction. Instead it is the story of Egon Loeser, a young set designer at the Allien Theatre in Berlin who is determined to do something spectacular with his life. A proponent of the New Expressionist theatre as a reaction to realism, Loeser is, quite frankly, the "loser" that his name suggests, almost totally lacking success in the area of paramount importance to him - sex. At the theatre, he is working on a production about Adriano Lavicini, a man who developed and used a Teleportation Device during a stage production in Paris in 1679. Lavicini's device was spectacular when it was used, ultimately causing the entire theatre to crumble, and leaving many dead in the collapse and ensuing fire. On the one occasion in which Loeser's Teleportation Device is used, it causes no such drama.

The idea that one might escape time and place through a Teleportation Device seems irrelevant to the literary and theatre crowd with which Loeser associates. The Depression is a major factor in the life of Weimar Germany in 1931, though "This so-called Depression makes no difference to us...Six million jobless doesn't seem like so many when none of us ever had any wish for a real job in the first place." Likewise, little notice is made when Loeser meets "Adele Hitler," except to note that she is "no relation" to another Hitler. Two years later, however, "even the most heedless and egotistical Berliner couldn't help but notice that something nasty was going on."

As the novel jumps from Berlin to Paris and then Los Angeles, Loeser becomes involved in a series of crazy episodes which often have their own individual charms. The action ricochets through time and space, incorporating vivid stories about Lavicini, about Loeser's search for his favorite pornographic book (now lost), and about Adele and her infidelities. Characters are killed and disemboweled, and ghosts appear and reappear, with one character breeding them for use in a machine which they will power. Virtually everyone gets blackmailed about an assortment of crimes, and one character stays busy selling the skeletons of Troodonians, early men who evolved from dinosaurs. Throughout all this, the search for the key to a Teleportation Device continues.

Beauman seems to have taken literary expressionism to newer, more modern levels here, writing whatever crosses his mind, using repeating characters to provide some kind of connection through time as episodes unfold, often with dramatic results, but sometimes leaving the reader (at least this reader) way behind. Fortunately, his descriptive talents and his wild humor will be enough to keep many readers going, even when they are not sure in what direction they are headed or why. Four endings from four different time periods give the reader a choice. Choose one or all, whatever you like, the author seems to say. This novel is unique, one requiring a good deal of patience, and even fortitude, at least for some of us who are significantly older than the twenty-seven-year-old author.
9 people found this helpful
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a challenge, but well-worth it...

it took me several tries to get started with 'the teleportation accident'. i had to force myself to stay with it...and am glad i did.

it's a difficult book; over-ambitious, and uneven. but it's a worthwhile challenge; a novel full of interesting and unusual ideas, sometimes-remarkable turns-of-phrases, and a storyline that is at times intriguing and almost always unpredictable.

i have a few questions (not sure where to ask them), but am glad i stayed with this. once the author establishes his rhythm, it's an easier ride.

will be interesting to see where Beauman goes with his writing; hopefully, he'll sharpen his skills, and the books will just get better and better.
i'll definitely keep an eye out for what comes next...
4 people found this helpful
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Not worth the ink....

This guy might have studied philosophy at Cambridge University, but clearly, he wasn't a student there. What he writes is gibberish. It's like he just sits down and starts putting words on paper with no cohesive idea of what he's working toward. I tried and couldn't get past the first ten pages. I don't know what kind of people could read this and get any idea of what was going on. I guess being the son of a publisher had a lot to do with his two books being published. I'm glad I didn't pay money for this book. Got it from the library, and it went right back.
4 people found this helpful
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A Low-/High-Brow Romp Around The World

If you like your novels with a flavorful mix of dirty jokes, slapstick comedy, philosophy, history, and international intrigue, then Ned Beauman's The Teleportation Accident, is certainly the novel for you. It's a period piece describing 1930s Berlin. It's an American Pie-esque comedy about a dude's quest to get laid. It's a treatise on public transportation in Los Angeles. And it's a thriller about a battle to save the world from a mad scientist. It's just so much fun. I loved this book!

The plot is hard to describe -- but suffice it to say, it's as inventively plotted a novel as you'll find. Don't worry, it's not too difficult to follow, but you do have to pay attention -- there are a lot of moving pieces. (If you've read Nick Harkaway's Angelmaker, this novel has many similarities...but I liked this one more, actually.) The protagonist is a dude named Egon Loeser, who lives in Berlin, Germany, in the early 1930s. Loeser (loser?) is a down-on-his-luck designer of theatrical effects for plays, and is working on his masterpiece, a teleportation device that will change the scene of a stage instantly, modeled on a similar 17th century device...but that one had some tragic consequences.

Loeser soon develops a crush on a woman named Adele Hitler (no relation to the soon-to-be Fuhrer) and follows her all over the world, from Berlin to Paris to Los Angeles, to try to break his no-sex streak. Along the way, he gets caught up in with an American shyster in France, meets a bunch of scientists of varying degrees of sanity at CalTech, and falls in with a writer of popular novels whose wife may or may not be a spy. It's quite a ride, let me tell you!

And, so, the humor -- my God, the humor! It ranges from out-and-out slapstick (a scene in a Paris hotel room, where the American shyster glues some fruit to the neck of his mark, purporting it to be a trendy youth-restoring goat-testicle surgery. And then he nearly sex with her. I was crying I was laughing so hard) to witty line-by-line repartee ("He has a face like a four-year-old child's drawing of his father" or, my personal favorite, "He had a vocabulary the size of a budgerigar's...") to purported wisdom that's not really that wise, but is instead hilarious ("Love is the foolish overestimation of the minimal difference between one sexual object and another.").

When I finished this, I was shocked to find the somewhat mixed reviews of this novel. To me, this is a novel, for which, if you didn't like it, I'm not sure we can be friends. That's how much I dug it. (Just kidding -- but if you didn't/don't like it, you probably have a very different sense of humor than I do.) It's one of my favorites of the year so far, and definitely a novel that deserves a wider readership. Please check it out!
4 people found this helpful
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please, No

Reading a page of this is like listening to a monkee shrieking. Avoid this book. . . . The Who or Why of the characters is about nonexistent. I understand that writing can be an Intellectual Exercise that can Teleport but this kind of Teleportation isn't much fun for the reader. Avoid.
4 people found this helpful
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Returned it!

Never have returned a book before - wanted to like ti, looked forward to it but sadly, couldn't get into it.
3 people found this helpful
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Still laughing

Others have praised this book more eloquently than I can. Those who gave it an exceptionally low rating, I believe, missed the joke. After reading Boxer, Beetle, I was really looking forward to The Teleportation Accident. I was not disappointed. I picked it up for days after reading it to thumb through, read a page and laugh out loud. The scene with the prostitute is particularly hilarious. These little vignettes fill the crazy, rambling story with little pieces of 'truth is stranger than fiction' moments that anchor this high-flying tale that is a part science fiction without being a science fiction novel, part love story without being a love story, and part murder mystery without being a murder mystery. Just read it. Decide for yourself.
2 people found this helpful
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Disappointed

I read a review raving about this book and couldn't ignore the almost unending stream of glowing praises from reviewers so I was excited to get my hands on it. However, like at least one other reviewer on here, I could barely make it through the first pages, which in my case, were the first ten. I can't remember the last time I made so little headway into a novel and I hate to not finish one. I couldn't give up though. I started skimming and reading random passages to try to drum up some interest but to no avail. The author seems to be trying too hard to be clever and unique rather than developing engaging characters or story. I don't feel so bad about not finishing this one because I feel I haven't really begun it.
2 people found this helpful
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Pretty Boring

I had heard good things about this book so I decided to take it on, but it really didn't do much for me. I found what plot there is here basically uninteresting, which is not necessarily a problem if the characters make up for it but our protagonist, Egon Loeser, doesn't rise to the heights that will save this novel.

That's not to say that there aren't some good things here. The supporting characters are the highlight. Adele Hitler provides some nice moments, particularly with the "actual" teleportation device being built at Cal Tech. Colonel Gorge and his "severe visual agnosia" (which gets steadily worse as the novel progresses) has the best comic moments.

Overall, however, these small pleasures did not outweigh the general feeling of boredom I had with this one. It's not a novel for me.
2 people found this helpful