Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered: The Definitive How-To Guide

According to the product description, this book promised to "focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being ‘nice’ or ‘helpful'" which was exactly what I wanted to read. A book about staying true to yourself and staying safe.
So, what went wrong with this one:
1. The book is written by two writers. This in itself is not a bad thing, but in all the chapters it started as a conversation and parts of each chapter were narrated by Karen while other parts were narrated by Georgia.
This was very confusing and made me lose track of who was saying what.
The writing felt disjointed as if there were several books in this one.
2. The amount of bad language used was staggering. The F bomb was dropped almost in each sentence.
Mainly, as in "F*** politeness". So, maybe not a bad message here, but could have and should have been delivered in a more literary way. It is a book and not a fish market after all.
3. Some of the personal anecdotes told were irrelevant to the subject matter. Why would i be interested to know that one of the co writers (couldn't be bothered to remember which one) touched a P**** and did Meth at 13?
4. Not enough emphasis was given on the subject at hand- too much uninteresting personal anecdotes instead of true crime stories, and discussion of meaningful cultural and societal issues.
Felt immensely disappointed, and hence a one star review. My first.

This book is a raw and candid memoir from Karen and Georgia. It uses the framing of some of the podcast's infamous sayings to frame it.

I was surprised to read that they had an editor, because it was riddled with grammatical errors, redundancy, and poorly constructed concepts. It seemed like the intent was self-help, but ended up being two people's disjointed biographies. They tried to wrap personal stories into themes that resonated with their fan base from their podcast, but failed to meaningfully connect the two. I appreciate the concepts they preach, which is why I'm an avid listener of MFM, but the book was poorly executed and I do not recommend it.

Oh that Amazon offered the possibility of zero stars, because that's what this so-called book warrants. It is not even a book, rather a stream-of-consciousness flow of babble, choc full of unnecessary profanities that ramble on to no purpose. Perhaps this style works in a podcast, however as literature--or even a good read--it's a bust. Save your hard-earned dollars for a good read you may actually enjoy.

I feel a little bad writing this, because these women seem nice and are decent writers, but I stopped reading half-way through. I think if I was a 30-something instead of a 50-something, or if I was a "murderino" fan, I would find this more interesting. However, I found nothing original in this quasi-self-help guide. Some of it was mildly entertaining, but some parts were really tedious to read. Yeah, I know what it is to be a latchkey kid, or to be sexually assaulted, or to have low self-esteem. Maybe it got interesting in the second half, but I just couldn't keep reading.

Humor book that's less self-help than teenage diary. One of them actually compares living in LA to the Civil War: "...this city has become densely populated with once-hot citizens critically wounded by their own broken dreams. It's like a battlefield in the Civil War, I imagine." Really? The other claims to have barely escaped a serial killer even though it was just a photographer who asked her to take her top off after she dolled herself up for a photo shoot with him. Turns out he never touched her, finished the photo shoot, and drove her back to where they'd met. She needed her own victim story for the book, "I imagine."

What is this book? An extended blog post about personal problems, or two women’s catharsis masquerading as “self-help”? Despite the amusing podcast that they share, neither author presents much of value here. It’s a long slog through their past dramas and traumas but with very little wisdom to be gained from it. However, some readers might find interest in the snippets of unreconciled angst and feminism that they’ve penned. It’s like those weird girls you ignored in high school finally started speaking up. Better late than never, I suppose.

I know I'm in the minority, but Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered: The Definitive How-To Guide didn't resonate with me. I much prefer the podcasts, with discussions of true crime and impromptu jokes and antics. Not that the how-I-got-here stories weren't interesting, it's more that they weren't what I wanted from this dynamic duo. It seemed like they were trying to get real, but a lot of it I could have done without. I couldn't relate but I desperately wanted to.

I wanted to love this, but I didn't. Back to the podcasts for me.

I was so excited to get this book,because, I thought it was about famous murderers,a subject I love to study.It was such a let down! Two women talking about their problem lives,and how they managed to get where they are today.I didn't even think they were funny.I wasted my hard earned money,don't waste yours.

"My Favorite Murder" is a True Crime podcast. This podcast is NOT for everybody. The hosts discuss True Crime (so, they discuss murder and other violence). They use profane language. Many people aren’t comfortable hearing women use profanity. Finally, they frequently recap stories that they heard on other podcasts or saw on television. (For instance, they have in the past cited the fantastic Criminal podcast as a source.) However, for almost all of the True Crime discussed, if I wanted to just learn the straight story, I could just go to Wikipedia and read about the whole thing myself. That’s not really the point of My Favorite Murder (MFM). I actually listen to MFM to hear the hosts’ perform comedy as they retell the stories.

"Stay Sexy and Don’t Get Murdered" isn’t really about True Crime. The two podcast hosts wrote a memoir together. Karen Kilgariff worked as a stand-up comic and a television writer. Georgia Hardstark started as a food blogger before she moved to careers in on-camera television and podcast hosting.

Devout MFM fans refer to themselves on social media as “murderinos.”

To be honest, I didn’t initially plan to purchase SSDGM without first reading the Amazon reviews. I was suspicious that the book was just a money grab. However, I bought the book anyway.

Let me be clear that SSDGM said VERY LITTLE about True Crime.

Let me be even clearer that SSDGM is NOT “sunshine all of the time” book.

The book mostly consisted of self-help and vignettes from the two author’s own lives.

For instance, in Chapter 1, Karen wrote about her experience watching her mother die (slowly) twelve years after the mother’s diagnosis with early-onset Alzheimer’s Disease. This happened after Karen and her family watched her grandmother die of the same thing. So, I want to warn you that if a discussion of terminal illness or parental death upsets you, then you shouldn’t read SSDGM.

Now, less than a year ago, I watched my own mother die of cancer. I actually took comfort over reading about Karen’s family’s experiences.

Georgia wrote about her pain over her parents’ acrimonious divorce and about the time that an older man convinced her to pose nude for him.

Karen and Georgia both wrote about their painful teenage years, substance abuse struggles, and eating disorders. Again, if reading about any of these topics upsets you, then DON’T read SSDGM.

That being said, I laughed A LOT as I read SSDGM. I am weird. However, Karen and Georgia wrote SSDGM for weird folks such as myself. They even said so in their book!

Karen and Georgia both spread motivational advice about following one’s dreams and accepting oneself as imperfect.

For instance, as a result of Georgia’s advice, I ordered a copy of “Zen in the Art of Writing: Essays on Creativity” by Ray Bradbury.

You see, when Georgia was in eighth grade and at one of the lowest points in her life (she had just left rehab for the treatment of her substance abuse), her eight-grade English teacher handed her a copy of Ray Bradbury’s The Martian Chronicles. Georgia hid herself away and read the book. Georgia wrote that this book was “the catalyst for (her) salvation.” Then she read the rest of Ray Bradbury’s books.

Three years later, when Georgia was sixteen, she attended a science fiction convention specifically to hear Bradbury speak and to try to meet him. Another English teacher helped her to compose a grateful letter that she handed to Bradbury.

Bradbury wrote back to her and sent her a copy of his writing book.

So here’s my favorite part of this memoir: Georgia left high school and tried out several careers. None of these careers worked out for her. She earned her living in a series of waitressing and retail jobs for the next ten years or so. She ended up as (her words) “an unhappy, slacks-clad office drone” at a “multibillion-dollar corporation.” She went on to write that she envisioned her future as “a low- to mid-level employee at some nameless company, never making enough to save for retirement.” Georgia admitted that she was (again, her words) “miserable.”

Georgia embraced blogging to deal with her unhappiness. Georgia’s blog led to her creation of a viral Youtube video, which led to her eventual opportunity on-camera at the Cooking Channel. Georgia eventually co-hosted two successful podcasts.

Here are my absolute favorite quotes from this section of the memoir:

“Blogging got me out of my rut and made me feel like I had a purpose but was also a great way to put a positive spin on my life.“

“My grandma Mollie’s favorite saying was “Bigger dummies than you.” That admittedly somewhat-cynical saying has been my motto pretty much my entire adult life.”

“I don’t claim to be better or more talented than anyone, but I do know I deserve just as much of a chance at a happy life as everyone else.”

“Why not me, too?“

“You’re worthy of a good life, one that you’re proud of and that when you wake up every morning makes you stoked to be yourself.“

I highlighted these quotes in my copy of SSDGM. I wrote down the mantras “Bigger dummies than you,” and “I deserve just as much of a chance at a happy life as everyone else.”

I’ve dealt with grief over the death of my mother this past year. I’ve also partially convinced myself that I’m not talented enough to be any more “accomplished” than my present situation at my own job. Last year, the same week that my mom died, my employer hosted a networking event for women that included a speaker who focused on Imposter Syndrome. My position did not rank high enough on the career ladder to merit an invitation to this speech on Imposter Syndrome. Even though this happened about two days before my mom died, I still regret that I wasn’t accomplished enough to be worthy of attending a workplace lecture on Imposter Syndrome.

So I highlighted Georgia Hardstark’s above quotes about her own self-worth. Georgia had the audacity to blog and produce a YouTube video, even though she was (again, her words) an “office drone” and “a low- to mid-level employee.”

This thinking reminds me of why I enjoy Anya Seton’s historical fiction. In every Anya Seton book that I ever opened, the protagonist enters young adulthood on the lower rungs of high society. The protagonist is each book is either a rich person’s poor relation, an orphan dependent on charity, or an uneducated farm girl. Better-positioned characters tell the protagonist that she does not deserve to rise any higher in society than her current position. The protagonist has the cojones to want more for herself. And, the protagonist in these stories finds a path to this “more.”

In the words of Georgia Hardstark, “Why not me, too?“