It's Not What You Think: An American Woman in Saudi Arabia
It's Not What You Think: An American Woman in Saudi Arabia book cover

It's Not What You Think: An American Woman in Saudi Arabia

Hardcover – October 11, 2022

Price
$19.90
Format
Hardcover
Pages
320
Publisher
Arcade
Publication Date
ISBN-13
978-1956763027
Dimensions
6 x 1.2 x 9 inches
Weight
1.06 pounds

Description

“ It’s Not What You Think is truly a tale of surprises, as our assumptions about Saudi Arabia, its culture, and the lives of its women are turned upside-down.xa0Rehman takes us deep inside spaces that are tightly closed to non-Muslims and/or non-females —not only the hajj but the women’s-only lingerie department of a Saudi department store!xa0The one thing that is not a surprise here, for those of us who know Rehman’s previous work, is her writing: intimate, warm, often funny, and always irresistible. ”— Susan Choi ,xa0 National Book Award–winning author of Trust Exercis e "Painfully funny, genuinely touching, culturally confounding, unexpectedly unnerving, andxa0just plain unexpected, Sabeeha's adventure drops us into the dynamic heartland of her faith, confronting the stereotypes that keep countries, cultures, and the people in them so lonely. This warm and wild journey changes her. And if you let her, it'll change you too."—Haroon Moghul , author of Two Billion Caliphs “In this engrossing and compelling read,xa0Sabeeha Rehmanxa0takes us inside Saudi Arabia, globally the most closed and secretive country. . . . A brilliant, insightful, and fascinating tour of a state where freedom of religion, freedom to assemble, and freedom of expression are limited.”— Jan Goodwin , award-winning author, journalist, Soros and Kiplinger fellowxa0and former senior fellow at Brandeis University’s Schuster Institute of Investigative Journalism “Illuminating, informative, and deeply personal, It's Not What You Think is a refreshing and complex antidote to the harmful and outdated stereotypes of Muslim women and the Middle East that still dominate America's media and political landscape . Sabeeha Rehman weaves a complex and empowering narrative of Muslim women reclaiming their identity, gender, and religion from men who seek to hijack all to ensure control and power.”— Wajahat Ali , author of Go Back to Where You Came From and contributing New York Times op-ed writer "Easy to read, engaging, and informative, It’s Not What You Think will be a great help to all who aspire to visit/work in Middle East in general and Saudi Arabia in particular. For folks navigating different cultures/traditions/faiths, it provides a great introduction from an author who successfully navigated these challenges. I was privileged to consult for the ailing King Fahd in June 2005 and attest to the high standards of health care and the great medical institution at KFMRC where the author held a very senior administrative position.” —Prof. Faroque Ahmad Khan , MB MACP. Chairman, Interfaith Institute of Long Island “In this charming book, Sabeeha shows how even a devout Muslim who had previously visited Saudi Arabia for pilgrimage can have her stereotypical views of the Kingdom continually shattered for the better. She reveals how Saudi women both exercise their power and irreversibly expand the boundaries of their power within the confines of a patriarchal society subject to the unavoidable winds of societal change.” —Imamxa0Feisalxa0Abdul Rauf, founder of Cordoba House, author of Defining Islamic Statehood and What’s Right with Islam “ Sabeeha Rehman’s travelogue memoir invites as well as entertains , inspiring the reader with personal adventures and insight into Saudi Arabia— a modest masterpiece . ”—Sidney Offit , former president of the Authors Guild Foundation and Authors League Fund and author of Memoirs of a Bookie’s Son "Rehman’s memoir offers an insider’s look but with an outsider’s point of view, documenting experiences that disabuse her of many misconceptions." —Electric Lit Praise for Threading My Prayer Rug FINALISTxa0FOR THE WILLIAM SAROYAN INTERNATIONAL PRIZE FOR WRITING. ONE OF BOOKLIST' S TOP TEN RELIGION AND SPIRITUALITY BOOKS. ONE OF BOOKLIST' S TOP TEN DIVERSE NONFICTION BOOKS. Honorable Mention in the San Francisco Book Festival Awards, Spiritual Category A 2019 United Methodist Women Reading Program Selection "Compelling . . . Guaranteed to broaden your horizons and make you see the world a little differently."—Dawn Raffel, "35 Memoirs Everyone Should Read," Reader's Digest "Rehman’s personal journey is her own, but speaks broadly to all immigrant journeys in contemporary America. With so much discussion about immigrants from Muslim in the national conversation, it’s good to have a story with this unique perspective."— Booklist , starred review " Rehman’s spirited debut memoir illuminates the challenges of living an authentically Muslim life in America . . . . With sparkling anecdotes about everything from the 'Christmas-ization of Eid' to engineering her son’s marriage, Rehman lends a light heart and an open mind to the process of becoming a multicultural 'hybrid .'" — Publishers Weekly "A heartfelt memoir plumbs the multilayered experience of being Muslim in America. With a steady infusion of verve and personality, Rehman immerses readers in the traditions of a Middle Eastern culture. . . . Rehman's memoir offers a deeper understanding and appreciation for Muslim lifestyles while imparting a message of unity and international fellowship. A culturally rich and rewarding personal chronicle of ethnic faith and intermingled tradition. " — Kirkus “ Entertaining and honest story of one woman's journey to fuse the cultures of her past and present to create her own experience . . . Her story is permeated with hilarious personal experiences and asides as she adapts to the country she will soon call home. Rehman lends a strong and compelling voice to moderate Muslims, and her discussion of her faith and the areas she believes need modernization illustrate the different opinions within the Muslim community.” — Library Journal "The country needs this counterbalancing personal story to correct the pervasive misunderstanding of what Islam is truly about and the contributions to our American democracy that most American Muslims make every day of their lives. Exceptionally well written and consistently compelling read from beginning to end. . . . Somebody donate a copy of Threading My Prayer Rug to every Republican member of Congress, every Republican member of a state legislature, and every Republican governor who advocates for preventing Muslims from settling in their state. " — Midwest Book Review “A warm, amusing and, for a Jewish reader, surprisingly familiar story.”— Jewish Week "That one masterstroke of penmanship and objective thought is the ultimate grand finale to a lifelong effort of understanding not only other faiths, but also her own." — Dawn newspaper (Pakistan) "Take this journey on Sabeeha's prayer rug, and you will be enchanted as she vividly and beautifully transports you through rich and elaborate threads of a lifetime lived with love, intelligence, and compassion—an inspiration to all." —Ranya Tabari Idliby, coauthor of The Faith Club and author of Burqas, Baseball and Apple Pie "Funny and frank, acute, and compassionate, this story of an immigrant ‘fish out of water’ who falls in love with her adopted American home is for all of us, and for all times—but current events also make it the story for this time. As Americans consider who they were, are, and want to be in the future, they could have no better guide than Sabeeha Rehman. I can’t imagine our country, or my bookshelf, without her." —Susan Choi, Pulitzer Prize finalist and author of A Person of Interest and My Education "With anti-Islamic sentiments on the rise in this country, Threading My Prayer Rug is a refreshing look at what it is really like to be a Muslim in the US today. With humor, charm, and great insight, Sabeeha Rehman recounts how one can be both a devout Muslim and an American wife, mom, grandmother and community activist." —Jan Goodwin, award-winning author, journalist, and Senior Fellow at Brandeis University’s Schuster Institute of Investigative Journalism "Coming to America is seldom associated with discovering one's faith—let alone Islam. Rich in exotic detail, Sabeeha's true-life story is funny, sweet, beautiful, warm, and deeply touching to any reader, who will note how much the heart and soul of a Muslim mother is like that of any other." —Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, founder of Cordoba House, author of What's Right With Islam and Moving the Mountain "Sabeeha Rehman’s prose resonates with intimacy, wisdom, and wit. She achieves a richly textured narrative that introduces readers to the rituals and enduring values of her Muslim faith as she, her husband Khalid and their sons Saqib and Asim integrate into the American melting pot. At the conclusion of her classic text, Ms. Rehman affirms, ‘Together we will change the discourse, quell violence with knowledge, and banish phobias to the fringe as we work together in unity of the spirit.’ This reader was moved to respond, 'Ameen . . . Amen.'"—Sidney Offit, former president of the Authors Guild Foundation and Authors League Fund and author of Memoir of a Bookie’s Son "A charming and engrossing book, Threading My Prayer Rug provides a window to a culture and people we do not know enough about. . . . Readable, easy to relate to, and inspiring!" —Sumbul Ali-Karamali, author of The Muslim Next Door: the Qur'an, the Media, and that Veil Thing " Threading My Prayer Rug is a beautifully written memoir of a cosmopolitan and faithful Pakistani-American Muslim woman. It’s recommended for all who want to have a sense of how the tapestry of American Islam is shaped by the contributions of a variety of Muslims, including those from South Asia." —Omid Safi, Director, Duke Islamic Studies Center " Threading My Prayer Rug is a warm, wise, and wonderful book. Ms. Rehman writes in a wry and often humorous style that is understanding of human foibles yet gently pushes readers of all backgrounds to become fuller and more engaged human beings. As an Orthodox rabbi working to strengthen cooperation between Jews and Muslims, I was moved by her involvement in Muslim-Jewish coalition-building efforts." —Rabbi Marc Schneier, president of the Foundation for Ethnic Understanding and coauthor with Imam Shamsi Ali of Sons of Abraham Sabeeha Rehman isxa0an author, blogger, and speaker on interfaith understanding. Her memoir Threading My Prayer Rug : One Woman's Journey from Pakistani Muslim to American Muslim was finalist for the William Saroyan International Prize for Writing, named one of Booklist' s Top Ten Religious and Spirituality Books and Top Ten Diverse Nonfiction Books, awarded honorable mention in the San Francisco Book Festival Awards, Spiritual Category, and was a United Methodist Women's Reading Program Selection. Sabeeha has given more than 250 talks in nearly a hundred cities at houses of worship, academic institutions, libraries, and community organizations, including the Chautauqua Institution. She is also the author, withxa0Walter Ruby, of We Refuse to Be Enemies: How Muslims and Jews Can Make Peace, One Friendship at a Time, and has given more than eighty book talks nationwide and overseas. She is an op-ed contributor to the Wall Street Journal , New York Daily News, and Baltimore Sun. She lives with her husband in New York City.

Features & Highlights

  • From the author of
  • Threading My Prayer Rug
  • , an eye-opening view of life in Saudi Arabia.
  • It’s Not What You Think
  • is a wry, incisive account of working in Saudi Arabia that offers insight into that insular patriarchal society, what is so attractive to expatriates living there, and what was contradictory or confining about it for a naturalized American who is a woman and a Muslim. A hospital executive in New Jersey, Sabeeha relocated with her oncologist husband to Riyadh, the most conservative city in the country, intending to remain two years. They ended up staying for six. Her book takes the reader on a journey of discovery that mirrors her own. Offered an influential position at Riyadh’s most prestigious hospital, she first has to obtain her husband’s permission to work. In public spaces, she quickly encounters the morality police but also learns the freedom of the abaya. Sales
  • men
  • staff the lingerie department. Women in Riyadh do not work in public places, yet they hold positions of authority within corporate culture; and outside Riyadh, she discovers that women-owned-and-operated businesses flourish, and Bedouin women could drive in the desert decades before Riyadh’s ban was relaxed. Through Sabeeha’s eyes, we see how Saudi and Western expat cultures coexist within the boundaries of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” how traditions define the identity of the Saudi nation, and how to discern what is “culturally appropriate” versus what is required legally. As she dons pilgrim’s garb, we join her on the hajj, to discover the intensity and spiritual high of the devout.

Customer Reviews

Rating Breakdown

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Most Helpful Reviews

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Shattering Shibboleths

As in her two previous books, "Threading My Prayer Rug" and her co-written one with Walter Ruby, "We Refuse To Be Enemies," Sabeeha Rehman adopts a conversational and intimate style in addressing subjects of complexity and misunderstandings. Born in Pakistan, welcoming an arranged marriage (a huge success) to a fellow Pakistani, Khalid, and a devoted and highly educated Muslim, Sabeeha moved to the United States to remain very much the same woman she was in Lahore. Her awakening to Jews (formerly known only through the media reports of Palestinian-Israeli conflicts) came through her neighbors in Staten Island and through her husband's colleagues in hospitals, where, as she said, all were kind, helpful, gracious and generous. Sabeeha's ability to examine her own preconceived notions, to step in the shoes of others and let down her guard to welcome Jews, Christians, non-aligned into her heart and home encourages the reader to follow her example. Now comes her third book, "It Isn't What You Think" in which the theme of knowing-before-you-judge shines through her and Khalid's choice to work for seven years in a Saudi hospital in Riyadh--he as an oncologist, she as an efficiency medical administrator (to abbreviate the work loads she willingly accepted).
Sabeeha takes the reader by the hand through shopping malls, the red desert, camel rides, medical conferences, social and professional protocols, friendship-making (easy with ex-pats; diffident with Saudis),
and--most significantly--in her detailed description of performing the hajj. Her story-telling is funny, serious, self-ironic, compassionate. Thanks to the exceptionally generous and appreciated travel 'bennies' the Saudis grant the ex-pats, she and Khalid are able to travel from Riyadh's very central point in the globe to go to Africa, Asia, Europe, and to visit family in Pakistan. Even so, she misses her grown children and the birth of her grandson. She throws herself into learning Arabic, but misses being able to interact with Saudi women with whom to practice the language. It is with the Saudi women, by the way, that Sabeeha places her trust in helping Saudi culture open to the half of their population that still wears--willingly or not--the hijab.
The world turns for all Muslims in Saudi Arabia as well as in the U.S. after 9/11. To tell more would be to rob the reader of absorbing Sabeeha's captivating book. Buy the book for historical, religious, geographic, social, cultural and linguistic adventures and reference, then buy it for your friends.
8 people found this helpful
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Loved reading of the culture

I love Sabeeha Rehman’s intimate and often witty account, written as emails to family and friends, of her six years of working in Saudi Arabia. Even though she is a devout Muslim, she still encountered instances of culture shock. Much of that was eased by living in a compound that was free of the restraints upon dress and social interactions. While she was often frustrated by the insular patriarchal society, the friendliness and helpfulness of the people enabled her to enjoy her time there.

I loved her explanations of how their religion shapes their day-to-day lives. I enjoyed reading about the culture of Saudi Arabia and the lifestyles of the people. She writes of her experience of participating in the Hajj. During her six years there, two significant historical events happened – 9/11 and the death of King Fahd. (Did you know that beekeepers go to each beehive to tell them the king has died and announce the new king? They recently did that with the death of Queen Elizabeth.)

Rehman provides a refreshing glimpse into the lives of the women living in Saudi Arabia. While Saudi women are often portrayed as being oppressed, Sabeeha tells of the importance of women in the workforce there. She also tells of her experiences with the morality police – how frightening! And you may be surprised to hear that some women find the wearing of the abaya to be freeing.

This is the third of Rehman’s books I have read. Her beautiful writing is.

I highly recommend this book. It will shatter the impressions you may have of the country, negative impressions drilled into us by our media.

I received an advance copy of the book. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.
6 people found this helpful
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A window into Saudi Arabia

This book takes the reader into unfamiliar territory for most of us. Saudi Arabia is a mysterious country, but Sabeeha brings it to life and shares what it is like to live and work there as an American citizen and a Muslim. For those curious about the real story, the Saudi people and those that spend a few years for work, this book is for you. I found it all flowed well and kept me wanting more.
1 people found this helpful
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A Fine contribution to Interfaith Dialogue and Religious Understanding Between Muslims and Jews

This is an in depth review of the writer's experience in Saudi Arabia, with personally meaningful obersvations by her about the country, her Islamic faith, and how to live a meaningful and spiritual life.
1 people found this helpful
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Experiencing life as an expatriate in Saudi Arabia

For all armchair travellers! If you have ever wanted to know what life was like for Americans working as expatriates in Saudi Arabia from their very first days and months of residence, then this is the book for you. Urged by her friends to document her impressions from the very beginning of her stay, Sabeeha makes you feel as if you are making the journey with her in real-time as she and her husband temporarily pull up roots from the US to reside overseas. You are able to experience the full range of her reactions and often unexpected feelings of surprise as if you were by her side, as she begins to navigate the social mores of Saudi culture and work environment at the premier hospital in Riyadh. Sabeeha writes with humor and reflection upon her day-to-day life as well as upon her travels within the country. Since her stay in Saudi encompassed the tragic events of 9/11, she is also able to give you a sense of the shock and disbelief experienced by both expatriates as well as the Saudis they were working with. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, learned many new things and would highly recommend it to others.
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A peek into Saudi Arabia!

I learned much about the intricacies of living in Riyadh. Rehman took us on an adventure through the old culture and how it is intertwines with the new. Highly recommended!
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Informative, Insightful, and fascinating

" It's Not What You Think " is informative, engaging and heartfelt. Sabeeha Rehman takes us again to view her experiences as a Muslim woman. This time it is about her stay in Saudi Arabia where she and her husband Kalid visited and worked for several years. " It's Not What You Think " journals her day-to-day activities, discoveries and feelings during this time. It dispels many assumed beliefs about life there and how women feel about Saudi laws and customs. The book is an easy enjoyable read.
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Good Read!

This book brought to light unexpected and informative Saudi lifestyle. Interesting read especially for those unfamiliar with the culture.
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Wonderful read!

I have read Sabeeha's books before, but this one is my favorite. It is beautifully written.