I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy

I've been following Angie's blog since the day Audrey was born so I knew much of her story.

One thing I really wondered about when ordering the book was whether or not it would be different than her blog. So, I will attempt to answer that for others wondering. The answer is yes, and no. It's not insofar as Audrey's life was very short, and Angie has blogged about it openly and comprehensively, so at some point, there's only so many ways you can tell the same story. So for anyone who has read her blog, there will be a familiarity about the book in both the details of the story and Angie's uniquely sensitive, poignant, and poetic style of writing.

However, there's a depth that comes in the book that I don't think is reached on the blog. By spending the entire book on essentially one topic, she takes you farther into her journey and their thoughts and broken hearts than is possible in any single post on her blog. While most of the details shared are not new (though a few are), but there is a cohesiveness and complexity that is new. Rather than getting bits of the story, one post or page at a time, you can weep with her through the entire journey at once.

The story is gripping anyway, but Angie's writing is artistically, beautiful. It is so intimate and delicate, that you really feel like you're sitting in the waiting room with her, wanting to yell at the lady in Target with her, standing at Audrey's funeral with her, ministering to other women with her, listening to her sweet girls with her, crying your heart out to God with her. The book is breathtaking and challenging.

While never preachy, the book is incredibly instructive on grief and fear and expectations and surrender to the Lord. Because it's not written as a lecture or discourse, the reader feels safe and free to explore her own journey as Angie invites you down hers. She displays an intimacy with the Lord that is a wonderful model to her readers, but does so without a hint of pride or self-righteousness.

Angie's book really helped me deal with the balance between the grief of the past, and the hope of the future. Her conclusion is that they are inextricably connected, which is such a welcome change from the general notion that they are mutually exclusive. By processing Angie's conclusions, it helped me be freed of the pressure I was putting on myself to "get over" my grief and "move on" and from the guilt that came when I did allow myself to feel hope again.

You will weep. You will be challenged. You will question. But Angie guides the reader through these things delicately, and always pointing back to the fundamental truth that despite our feelings, our God remains unchanged. She continually directs the reader back to the Word, and back to the Lord.

I like that there are some very practical sections of the book, including a section for loved ones of the bereaved, and for how to explain grief to young children. Her husband Todd also writes a short section, which is very instrumental in sharing the man's heart in a story like this. It helped me understand my husband a little more in our own grief story.

While this book is specifically about the loss of a child, I believe it would be helpful to anyone who is bereaved. Some details are pregnancy or parenting specific, but the questions asked of God in a time of grief and the overarching themes of faith and love and trust are universal.

Even if you know Angie's story, I highly recommend you read this book. If you've NOT read her blog, do so. It can be found at audreycaroline[dot]blogspot[dot]com And then, get the book, too.

Thank you Angie, for allowing God to minister through your life and through Audrey's.

This book was recommended to me after a recent miscarriage. I cried just about every other page. At times I thought to myself, "why am I reading this depressing book??", but every sad chapter is followed up with the truth and hope of Scripture. And that's exactly what I need right now! I appreciate her honesty and willingness to share her hurt and anger with me as a reader. I can't stand when Christians sugar-coat their feelings to the world and to God...like He doesn't already know how you REALLY feel. It's ok to scream out in anger to God if that's what you're feeling. Better to scream at Him, than run from Him. He longs for his children to come to him with their hurts. After all, He's the only one who can heal them. So, thank you Angie, for being that transparent with us.

The only thing that bothered me a little, having just suffered an early term miscarriage, was the fact that she mentioned at the beginning of the book that she too, lost her first pregnancy, after 9 weeks. But then it was never really mentioned again in the rest of the book. I can't really articulate why this bothered me, but it did, which is the only reason why I'm giving it 4 stars instead of 5. I guess I just would've liked a little more recognition of the first child she lost...because I want people to recognize my own loss, even though it happened so early.

That said, however, this book was a blessing..filled with the wisdom and encouragement of scripture that we all so desperately need, especially in times of intense suffering.

Although I have never suffered a loss like hers, I was gripped by the posts from Angie's Blog and have been an avid "follower" since Audrey was born. I was able to get the eBook free on Amazon, but would have (and will) pay full price for it to have as a resource.
My best friend lost her child unexpectedly at 6 weeks old, and this book has been a real transparent look at the grief process. I would recommend it to anyone.
I am not much of a reader, but couldn't put this down. I read it in one day. The first 1/3-1/2 of the book describes the story of Audrey (and the Smith Family) and the last half or so goes into more of an "application" as how Angie has chosen to handle her grief and joy. Thank you Angie, for sharing your faith and being Audrey's voice.

Wonderful book. Recommend for anyone going through infant loss.

I love the group Selah and have followed their ministry ever since I heard You Lift Me Up. I have to admit I do wish Nicole was still singing with the group though. '
I WILL CARRY YOU The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith is the story of lead singer Todd Smith's wife Angie's journey with the loss of a baby girl.
When I heard about Todd & Angie losing their baby and then just a few weeks later Nicole & Greg's little boy joined his cousin in Heaven I was heartbroken for the family. I found Angie's blog and read some of her postings about their journey so when I heard there was going to be a book printed from the blog I knew I had to read it.
The book not only chronicles the story of pregnancy and birth but Angie is so open and transparent about her struggles, questions and how God has met her and taught her through it all. This book is a must read for anyone who has lost someone, not only a child but any loved one. We all struggle with many of the same questions Angie does.
What do you do when your heart is breaking and other's are going on about how God has just performed a miracle for them? If you're like Angie, I and countless other's you think: "It is easy to be a believer when He gives you a miracle."
It is indeed a dance of grief and joy because God there holding you through it all and our life is a song.

There is not a negative thing I could say about this book. I was encouraged in my faith to trust Jesus more fully with all my heart, in spite of the external circumstances. I heartily recommend this book to anyone, no matter what their life experiences are. Angie walks us down her painful path, but the lessons she gleans are applicable to a vast array of difficulties, not limited to losing a child. I am thankful that she has made herself available to be used of the Lord to encourage the body of Christ to know Him more fully. I have benefited from that aspect of her walk through her blog for two years now, and am excited and grateful to say that I have benefited from it through this book as well. Very encouraging.