How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written

I admit to being an enormous Archer fan, but I still would never give a poorly written stack of regurgitated jokes five stars. This book delivers the laughs, especially if you know anything about the show. Which I do.

But, humor being completely subjective, I still feel compelled to at least dispel a couple shameful myths put forth by other reviewers.

MYTH: "...three out of four jokes are ripped word for word from episodes of Archer..."

FACT: Let's do some math, shall we? Archer states at the start of the book that he's contractually obligated to produce a manuscript of no shorter than 30,000 words and will, therefore, deliver a manuscript of precisely 30,000 words. As I read the book the second time, I highlighted every word I could find that either retold a joke from the show or even so much as referred to a joke from the show. I even highlighted Alex Karras (whom Lana mentions in Archer S1 E10) even though the joke about him is completely different. Total word count on reused jokes: 322. That's 1.073%. So, essentially, the book is 99% new content.

MYTH: This book "substitute[s] rehashed dry jokes for actual information" and is "not much of a guide to anything."

FACT: This is a book by Sterling Archer, so if you're expecting an encyclopedia on the finer points of covert ops, you haven't been paying attention. Spoiler Alert: you won't actually learn how to become an international spy by reading this book. That said, unless you already know the recipe for Green Russians, or the proper way to prepare Eggs Woodhouse, or how to say "Would you like to have sex with me?" in 17 languages (including Portuguese, of course), then I can assure you this book has plenty to teach you.

For example, from the section on page 19 regarding the martial art of Savate:

"Savate is French for 'face kick.' And while the French have a reputation for being effeminate... I think this is unfair. Because they also have...the French Foreign Legion. So the next time you're feeling adventurous, walk into a bar in Algiers and call a Legionnaire a putain de merde. Then walk outside and feel around in the sand with your hands, trying to find your head."

Not the greatest advice, but at least you learned something (and I bet you laughed, too).

If you enjoy the show, obviously buy this book. If you don't enjoy the show, you're dumb. Possibly doubly so because you're reading comments from people that obviously love the show. Go knit yourself a pie or something.

As pitch-perfect as this book is for capturing the tone of H. Jon Benjamin (really, how can you read this WITHOUT hearing his voice as Sterling Archer in your head?), the only thing better would be if they would have him release an audio version of the book!!!

As a high functioning alcoholic, secret agent with narcissistic personality disorder myself - I can confirm that this IS the authoritative book on "how to women, dress and cocktail". Ever.
It's like it was written is some sort of zone. A zone of... Danger.

"How to Archer" is funny, make no mistake about it. If you've seen the show--you have seen the show, right?--then it's easy enough to listen to the Sterling Archer in your head when you read. If you haven't seen the show, I imagine you're going to hate this book. That said, why are you looking at the review of a tie-in for a show you don't even watch? Go elsewhere.

For all its humor, I don't know if the book ever really hit me as being as funny as the show is. Sterling Archer, the world's greatest secret agent and sexist playboy, is an amazing character. But much of what makes him funny is playing off other characters. When other characters from the show (Woodhouse, Krieger, Pamela) are mentioned, the book is really funny. When it's just Archer talking about Archer...well...it can get a little stale. Still funny, mind you, but not as funny as it could be.

As stated in my title, this is a very short book. Not only is it a small page count, but there's a lot of white space so there's even less content than you might expect.
Regardless, if you're a huge fan off the show (like I am) then I still recommend this book. It loses some of the show's humor by only being Sterling and not having the fantastic interplay among the other characters, but Sterling is still pretty funny all on his own.

If you read this book and it's not in Archer's voice (except for the foreword, which his mother kindly provided), then this isn't the book for you.

This book is the ultimate guide as to how to be like Archer; it's not another episode converted into paper form in an effort to make Archer millions of dollars (though he does admit that the book is an effort to make said millions of dollars). You will learn many useful tidbits in this book: how to ask women if they want to have sex with you in 16 languages... How to make Eggs Woodhouse (the most expensive breakfast you'll ever have)... How to drop $100,000 on deposit in a casino and get it all back (and make some new friends while you're at it!)... And everything in between that makes Archer the world's greatest secret agent.

He also points out the difference between "butler" and "valet," how you can only dream to be like him, and how to bed women of all types...see the chapter entitled The Archer Sutra (I can't make that up lol), all in a 30,000 word manuscript that the publisher legally-bound him to write. Count it; they did.

And if you don't like this book, Archer will feed you a bowl of spider webs.

The usual archer humor doesn't really shine through in text form. i'm a huge fan of the show however i found this book to be awful.

Humourous writing in the voice of Sterling Archer: if you are expecting Tennyson, you're going to be severely disappointed. If you're looking for a book written in the guise of the World's Greatest Spy and have any awareness of the television series, this will deliver a huge number of laughs.

Four stars for the lack of cobras. Tsk.

Disclaimer: IF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THE SHOW ARCHER on FX, you will not fully understand this book. The book is written "by" the character on the show and the writing style matches how the character talks on the show (which is usually a series of disjointed funny thoughts).

If you are a fan of the show, BUY THIS BOOK. It's hilarious.