Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

Desperate, Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe
By Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson

I really want to like this book; several people I really respect love this book. I like the overall concepts of this book but there are so many little things that keep me from loving it.
Desperate is team written by a young mom and mentor mom and covers a variety of topics including the mission of motherhood, reason why we do what we do, needing others especially a mentor, the sin factor, and gritty stuff like depression, housework, selflessness and then ends with thoughts on how to be a great mom. I loved the focus on the fact that formulas don't always work because all families are different, the reassurance that there are seasons of life (one reason this book is probably especially good for ones with very little ones, I felt like I was a little out of the season on `desperation' that they were focusing on), the need to work hard but overall to trust God and lean into Him for your purpose and worth; and to enjoy your life as a mother (another subtitle could be enjoy every moment-seriously).
Yet I had a hard time with this book. First of all, I really felt the need for a short disclaimer that these are issues facing middle to upper class moms in developed nations and that we have sisters around the world whose problems aren't- am I spending too much time on the computer but what will my children eat, will my son be captured by the African child army or will I have to sell my daughter so the rest of us can survive? I don't think we need to feel needless guilty that others have it harder but I do think we need to realize the truth. I also feel like the book doesn't address working class families of America either. They do talk about making the budget in the early years but there is also a lot about spa days and buying flowers and hiring a maid. I wanted to ask, does the manicurist also get to homeschool and invest in her kids that way? Of course not. (I am writing this at the mall while my youngest is at preschool while a women is cleaning the floor around me!) But this book is addressed to those of us Christian moms who can be at home with our kids and we do have to live the life God has given us with its own issues and ups and downs. I also felt like the book, while honest, still had a too chipper feel about it; it seemed like the structure and way it was written would fit a blog form better than a book. Sally many times talked about the need to refill yourself and find what is life-giving for you (for her music and beauty) so you can pour into your children, but she didn't give examples on what that might be for others. I also felt confusion between the being selfless, working hard and not `escaping' part versus the need to refill. Sally says some will say you deserve to do x,y & z (their example is the computer or shop) and I wanted to say, yes the chapter before you were the one saying it. I was in the shower the other day and wanted to stay for a while longer wanting a break from my girls and I thought, is this a life-giving refill I need or am I escaping from the need to engage my children? I know the answer is there is no formula you just need to be sensitive to what the Spirit leads. Which really is the best part of the book, reminding us moms that God created us for a purpose and we can effect eternity with these little lives he has given us.
If you are a mom with little ones, I do recommend you read this book (and do the activities for each chapter)

Desperate, Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe
By Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson

I really want to like this book; several people I really respect love this book. I like the overall concepts of this book but there are so many little things that keep me from loving it.
Desperate is team written by a young mom and mentor mom and covers a variety of topics including the mission of motherhood, reason why we do what we do, needing others especially a mentor, the sin factor, and gritty stuff like depression, housework, selflessness and then ends with thoughts on how to be a great mom. I loved the focus on the fact that formulas don't always work because all families are different, the reassurance that there are seasons of life (one reason this book is probably especially good for ones with very little ones, I felt like I was a little out of the season on `desperation' that they were focusing on), the need to work hard but overall to trust God and lean into Him for your purpose and worth; and to enjoy your life as a mother (another subtitle could be enjoy every moment-seriously).
Yet I had a hard time with this book. First of all, I really felt the need for a short disclaimer that these are issues facing middle to upper class moms in developed nations and that we have sisters around the world whose problems aren't- am I spending too much time on the computer but what will my children eat, will my son be captured by the African child army or will I have to sell my daughter so the rest of us can survive? I don't think we need to feel needless guilty that others have it harder but I do think we need to realize the truth. I also feel like the book doesn't address working class families of America either. They do talk about making the budget in the early years but there is also a lot about spa days and buying flowers and hiring a maid. I wanted to ask, does the manicurist also get to homeschool and invest in her kids that way? Of course not. (I am writing this at the mall while my youngest is at preschool while a women is cleaning the floor around me!) But this book is addressed to those of us Christian moms who can be at home with our kids and we do have to live the life God has given us with its own issues and ups and downs. I also felt like the book, while honest, still had a too chipper feel about it; it seemed like the structure and way it was written would fit a blog form better than a book. Sally many times talked about the need to refill yourself and find what is life-giving for you (for her music and beauty) so you can pour into your children, but she didn't give examples on what that might be for others. I also felt confusion between the being selfless, working hard and not `escaping' part versus the need to refill. Sally says some will say you deserve to do x,y & z (their example is the computer or shop) and I wanted to say, yes the chapter before you were the one saying it. I was in the shower the other day and wanted to stay for a while longer wanting a break from my girls and I thought, is this a life-giving refill I need or am I escaping from the need to engage my children? I know the answer is there is no formula you just need to be sensitive to what the Spirit leads. Which really is the best part of the book, reminding us moms that God created us for a purpose and we can effect eternity with these little lives he has given us.
If you are a mom with little ones, I do recommend you read this book (and do the activities for each chapter)

I am an avid reader, especially books on mothering. I've read lots of so-so books, lots of good books, and a few REALLY extraordinary books. This book is at the TOP of the extraordinary list. Honestly, if I could only keep one book on mothering, it would be this. This will be my go-to gift for baby showers from now on. I really can't put into words how excellent it is. I've never actually written a review before, but for this book, I just had to. If you're a mom (especially of little ones) or are going to be a mom soon, get this book! You will not regret it!

I just received "Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe" by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson today and I couldn't put it down.

As a mom, we are trying to do it all. Many times, we are doing it without help or encouragement, too. Feeling overwhelmed is certainly something I have felt and have felt guilty about, thinking that I must be alone in my experience. But the authors are quick to affirm, encourage, and direct mothers to the feet of God all while giving practical advice as well.

Although I read through the book quickly, I am looking forward to going back through and doing the activities that are given at the end of each chapter.

Satan wants us to feel alone, discouraged, and inadequate. But remember that God gave your child(ren) to YOU to raise. There is so much we can learn from these little people, and they from us.

I highly recommend this encouraging book.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided with a free copy of this book by Thomas Nelson Publishers in exchange for my honest opinion.

I'm mom of three under three (well, two of them are 3 and one month, but still.) And basically, I want Sally Clarkson to come live with me for ever and ever. Sarah Mae is pretty great, too. The End.

I can not tell you how many times while reading this book I wanted to jump up and down and scream from the rooftops "YES!!! Someone finally get's it!" From my relationship with my own mother, to my feelings of emptiness, and loneliness as a new mom, it is all in there. I am so thrilled that there is finally a resource to bring women together to encourage and support one another, and to give them hope.

Where was this book when I first had my child? I would have loved to have read such a helpful and encouraging book as "Desperate".

I enjoyed how each chapter begins with correspondence from Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. You then read about each author's experience on a particular topic of motherhood.

I gleaned a lot from this book even though my children are not babies anymore. Yet and still, I was convicted and enlightened by this book.

"Desperate" is a unique read; balancing Sarah's experience as a young mother versus Sally's years of experience and wisdom.

I learned the value of younger women having older women as mentors from this book.

"Desperate" offers biblical wisdom and practical advice for mothers, especially, new mothers with children.

I can't recommend it enough.

This book has given me such inspiration and practical ideas in my motherhood journey. I would recommend it to anyone desiring to know what the Lord has for you as a follower of Jesus, a wife and mother.

I loved this book. Motherhood is an act of service to God. This book has encouraged me to spend time with God each morning and to have more gentleness and grace with my kids. We were made mothers to be made in Christ's image.

Longtime homeschooling expert Sally Clarkson teams up with newcomer Sarah Mae to create a bountiful feast of encouragement for moms of young children. DESPERATE is written in a she said/she said style, in which Mae opens up each chapter with her own mothering questions and concerns, and Clarkson answers them. They then proceed to share their thoughts on each particular topic.

Mae begins with her young mother experiences and struggles in a very personal and transparent way that will have all moms nodding their heads (and hearts) in understanding and agreement. Next, Clarkson follows with her personal experiences from a more reflective viewpoint since her children are now grown. The combination of these present and past perspectives is a true win-win for readers who find themselves in either one of these mothering positions.

As one recent Gallup analysis confirms after interviewing over 60,000 US women in 2012, moms who stay at home to raise their children experience the following emotions: 41% felt worry, 26% sadness, 50% stress, 19% anger, and 28% depression. Even though their working counterparts experienced the same struggles, they did so in lesser measure. However, 40% of moms who work outside the home felt constantly rushed, whereas only 26% of stay-at-home moms felt this particular stress. The bottom line is that every mom, no matter how and where she spends her time, needs encouragement and a mentor to gently guide her through the toughest mothering seasons.

This premise is exactly why DESPERATE is so valuable and timely, and all moms will appreciate the wide scope of topics covered here. Included in this dynamic three-section text are mothering principles on such subjects as developing ideals and a parenting plan; understanding how much moms need other moms; formulas don't always work; the issue of sin that finds its way to the surface of every heart and life; when emotions go dark, as in discouragement and depression; lack of training to be a mommy; learning to live a selfless life as a mother; wanting and needing to escape; taming the beast of housework; figuring out life in new ways than what we grew up with; all the voices that influence us; living on purpose in a distracted world; developing the art of life; feeling desperate but not defeated; and living the story of motherhood for eternal legacy.

One of the reasons why the tone of the book works so well and reads so warmly is that Clarkson is actually Mae's mom mentor in real life. The two exchange letters frequently, and Mae has spent a week in Clarkson's home, where she was pampered, loved and spoiled. Out of their relationship this book was born, and women will find themselves smiling, crying and thanking God for bringing Mae and Clarkson together so that they could collaborate on this excellent mothering resource.

Reviewed by Michele Howe